One of the hardest parts about being a Mother is not comparing yourself to other Mother's. It's near impossible, we are all guilty of it at one time or another. I do it all the freaking time and I NEED to STOP!!! My children are happy and healthy. Every day is not perfect in my house by any means. My floors get dirty. I have piles of laundry that never seem to end. I find food in random places. There are toys spread across my house; little trails of where my children have been...I get frustrated at myself on a regular basis for not being able to "keep up" with everything that I have to do. Lately, I have been thinking to myself where did I get this idea that everything needs to be in order and perfect? Who am I trying to impress?
I have no idea. Everyone, myself...
I think it's social medias fault because you have "insight" into other peoples lives in a way we never did before. For instance; I'll see a picture of a friend and her house is clean and you think, damn I'm failing. I'll see a picture of a Mother all dressed up with lipstick on taking her kids to the park or the store as I'm drinking my third cup of tea in the same leggings I've had on for two days and I can't even remember the last time I brushed or washed my hair (for days it's been in a messy bun that now looks like a nest). I read these blog posts about how blessed these women feel being at home and their snuggled up next to a fire with their children while they play the banjo and paint and I look over and here's my kid in time out for the 5th time in the past hour for smacking his brother in the face or screaming at me, and I think where did I go wrong? Then I realize...I haven't. This is a glimpse into these peoples lives it is not the whole picture. If you are a Mother and you say your kid never yells or you never get upset with them you are full of it!! Yes, raising children is one of the most rewarding and magical experiences you can have for sure. You love your children more than you can even explain; it's beyond love. But they can also drive you nuts. You can lose yourself in trying to manage it all. The house, the husband (partner), the job or lack there of, the dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, butt wiping, the screaming, crying, diaper changing, nursing, the napping or lack there of, the constant battle to get ready for bed, sweeping the floor for the 3rd time that day because you don't have a dog that eats all the food off the floor that your child throws. It's exhausting trying to keep up with it all.
I had a panic attack a few weeks ago because I was running myself so thin making sure everything was being taken care of. No more. The house can be messy if that means I have some time to relax and actually enjoy my children. Lochlan is going to be four soon. Lenix is going to be one in less than a month and then they'll be 7 and 10 and not want to snuggle with me as much. I need to enjoy this time with them being children without being frustrated that my house is a mess or I didn't have time to look picture perfect that day.
I, actually, am an amazing Mother. I am. I cook for my children every day, I make sure they drink enough water, I give them hugs, I tell them I love them, I take them to the park when I can, I read to them everyday, I keep them ALIVE!
I am enough.
You are enough too. STOP feeling less than. If you love your kids and let them know you love them and are doing the best you can then you are doing great!!