Easy Gluten-Free Ramen

I am all about healthy, easy meals and this is one that I made up the other day and everyone in the family enjoyed it.  I typically cook, organic, non-gmo and gluten free but you can make this with wheat noodles or whatever ingredients you prefer. This should take about 30 minutes to prepare and cook.

Chicken and Vegetable Ramen Noodles

2 Tbl. oil (olive or coconut are my favorites)
4 Tbl. Braggs liquid aminos (you can also use soy sauce)
1 small red onion, chopped
2-4 cloves garlic, minced
2-4 Tbl. ginger, minced (I love ginger but not everyone does so make to taste preference)
1 Tbl. Turmeric
3 Tsp. real salt
1 C carrot, diced or julienne
1 C peas (I used organic frozen)
4 C Chicken or Vegetable broth -- I did not have any premade so  I used this one
2 C chicken, cook and cut into bite size pieces (I used an organic rotisserie I bought at the store for this but you could use 2 chicken breasts as well).
2 Ramen "cakes" - cook per instructions - purchase here

Ok now for the fun part!! Let's get cooking....

To start you are going to get 2 medium pots. The first one is going to be for your broth and the second one is going to be for your noodles. Grab pot 1 and put it on the stove, turn to med/high heat. Add oil and the chopped onion and cook for 1-2 minutes. Add garlic and ginger and toss. Cook an additional 1-2 minutes until it all starts to get slightly golden brown. Add the turmeric, sea salt and carrot and toss to coat. Add the Braggs and allow to simmer for about 5 minutes until carrots are softened but not cooked through. Add the cooked chicken and peas and the broth. Bring to a boil then reduce to a simmer and let cook for 15-20 minutes.

While this is cooking grab pot 2 and put enough water to cook the ramen cakes - usually about 3-4 cups. Bring to a boil. Carefully place the ramen "cakes" into the pot and cook to instructions. The ones I used took 4 minutes total. Once cooked through remove from heat and toss into a colander and rinse with cold water.

Now that it's all cooked grab a big soup bowl, add the cooked Ramen noodles and ladle the chicken and vegetable broth on top.  Careful it's hot! Serve and enjoy!!!

side note: If you have any leftover make sure to store the noodles separate from the broth; the noodles will absorb all the liquid if left in.

I am not the Mother I thought I was going to be.

Before becoming a mother, I would fantasize and dream about having my own children. I would imagine them sweet, calm, and clean; even in my dreams, I would be holding and kissing them. I would see us playing outside, laughing and snuggled under a canopy of stars, whispering our dreams and secrets to one another. In those fantasies of Motherhood I was calm and effervescent, managing my children with ease and grace--everything seemed like a magical whirlwind of love and joy.

As magical as Motherhood is, and can be, this is not the real reality. While there are moments of love and laughter,  running through fields of grass with smiles as big as the sky on their faces, that is not what our life is like all the time.

As much as I like to think of myself as an awesome, put together Mother the reality is I struggle....a lot. I've read the books, researched the articles, and listened to the podcasts--but NOTHING prepared me for what it's really like. You spend almost 10 months imagining this baby, and then the day happens where you go into labor and you spend so much energy and love getting that baby Earthside. They come out, and they look at you and that's it; your life is changed forever. You will never be the same. You are now responsible for keeping this child ALIVE, and for teaching them how to navigate through this world.

There are times where I feel like I'm making it all up; at the end of the day when they are asleep in their beds I think,  "we did it! We survived another day!" There are moments when both my kids are screaming or crying, when I have no idea what to do or how to help them other than try to keep myself calm. Some days I succeed and others end with me on the floor, feeling like a failure, while they are crying and upset. There are times where the flight-or-flight sense desire to run away can become so great and so strong, and I HATE myself in those moments for feeling resentful towards my children. I remind myself that they are little kids and they are still learning. I often feel frustrated with myself, wondering why I get angry and upset. Why do I have to struggle? Why does it seem like it's easier for all the other Mom's out there in their beautiful clothes, perfect make up and clean homes?

Then I remember, their life is not perfect either. Those Mothers also have days when their children are screaming, and kicking, and flailing, and acting like a crazy person. Their house will get messy, their dishes will pile up, and they will struggle too. The reality is that we are all struggling, and we are doing the best we can. Often, as women and as Mothers, we try to "put on a show" of what our lives should be...we need to stop doing that, and start getting real with one another. I think if we were more honest about how hard it can be to parent so many Mothers would stop feeling like failures.

I have to remind myself that this is just a season in my life, when I wake up and the dishes are piled up, and the laundry is falling out of all the baskets, and the kids are demanding food, but "not on that plate, on my other plate!" "Not the Woody cup,  the Spiderman one!" When I go to change my littles diaper and now, even after 2 years of this daily routine, he is screaming so loud I think it probably sounds like I'm torturing him and am forced to sit on him to get the job done; I remind myself that before I know it, my children will be grown up, out of the house, and all the noise and screaming will come to and end, and I will be left with the memories of what their childhood once was. Will I remember the piles of laundry or the sleepless night? Will I remember how many days in a row I cried from sheer exhaustion? Or will I remember the hugs and kisses and the "hold me tight"?

I'm not sure what the future holds but I do know that while today it feels hard that it's still ok. It's supposed to be hard. I may not be the perfect Mother, I may not even come close to the idea I once had in my head of the kind of Mother I would be, but I am EXACTLY the Mother my boys need and they are exactly the children I need as well. As much as I teach them, they will teach me. It's a huge responsibility to be a parent. We are raising our future here. It's a heavy load to carry, but we've got this. We can handle it. We are in this together, so let us be kinder to one another, help each other out, and to remember that we all have our struggles.

I believe that in all aspects of life communication is key. I believe that remaining silent about the daily struggles we have as parents only burdens each of us more. Being open and honest about not only our victories but also our griefs will create a more human connection between each of us and be a reminder that we should not put so much pressure on ourselves or our children; the focus shouldn't be about right vs. wrong, perfect vs. imperfect, happy vs. unhappy. The focus should be on truth and honesty.

The truth is life can be hard, there are good days and bad and that is okay and NORMAL. We all are human and imperfect. We need to lift one another up and support each other in this daily crusade that is Parenthood.

Gluten-Free Cinnamon Rolls

Switching our household to a Gluten-Free diet has been an amazing transition for my family. When we first started the transition just two years ago there were not nearly as many gluten-free choices in the grocery stores as there are today. I am so thankful for all the amazing gluten-free products out there that make my life so much easier!!

One of our favorite foods to eat is pizza. We LOVE pizza!! So, when I was shopping at Sprouts I was very excited to find this Bob's Redmill GF Pizza Crust.

Let's be honest gluten-free dough is usually not nearly as delicious and savory as "regular" dough. This dough is great because it does not taste like or have the consistency of cardboard as so many gluten-free options do.  Not only is this dough fluffy and delicious but on the back of the packaging there is also a gluten-free cinnamon roll recipe!!!

I took a picture after baking so the bag has flour all over it. 

I decided to give the cinnamon rolls a try; I made some slight changes to their original recipe and am very please with how they turned out. So please in fact that I ate three rolls in one sitting! So good!!!!

Dough

• 1/4 cup Unsalted Butter 
• 1/2 cup Sugar  - I used this kind. 
• 2 Eggs 
• 2-1/4 tsp Yeast Packet (from package)
• 1 cup Water (warm)
• 3-1/4 cups GF Pizza Crust Mix
• White Rice Flour as needed for dusting - I used GF All-Purpose

Filling

• 1/4 cup Unsalted Butter (melted) - I did half butter/half coconut oil. 
• 1/2 cup Brown Sugar - I used this kind. 
• 2 tsp Ground Cinnamon

Directions:

Dough

Step 1

Preheat the oven to 375°F.

Step 2

Add 1 Tbsp of the sugar to the warm water. Sprinkle the yeast packet on top of water and let sit 5 minutes. Cream together the butter and sugar. Add eggs, one at a time, making sure to blend in completely.

Step 3

Add the yeast mixture to the butter/egg mixture and blend. Add in the pizza crust mix; blend two minutes. The mixture will be slightly sticky. Heavily dust a 2-foot long sheet of wax paper with flour. Spread batter over the length of the wax paper, about 19 inches. Using warm water, wet your hands and press the batter outward to fill the sheet. Remember to keep your hands wet or you will get covered in batter. Once the batter evenly covers the wax paper you can brush melted butter or coconut oil over the batter from edge to edge.

Filling

Step 1

Combine the cinnamon and sugar and then sprinkle mixture over the batter from edge to edge. Pick up the short end of the wax paper and begin carefully rolling the batter over itself. Cut the roll into 1 1/2 inch pieces and gently place the disks into the 8 x 8 inch greased pan. It is okay to crowd them.

Step 2

Let the rolls rise in a warm place for 30 minutes. Bake for 20 - 25 minutes. Remove from oven, cool until the butter/oil stops bubbling then flip out onto a plate. Makes 8-10 cinnamon rolls.

Notes:

** I used Organic products for everything I could and recommend you do the same. 

** I also did the filling a little different. I used room temperature butter mixed with room temperature coconut oil and added the cinnamon and brown sugar to that and made a "rub" and rubbed it onto the spread out batter. I also doubled the recommended filling mixture because I like a lot of cinnamon filling in my rolls. 
** When the rolls came out of the oven I drizzled local, organic honey over the top of them. Enjoy!!! 

The Face of Depression

Ever since I was young I have dealt with depression. I was a highly energetic child, with many friends and endless love to give yet I was sad, often. When I was by myself or even in groups of people I felt very alone. Life always seemed so much easier for everyone else. I never knew what or when I would be thrown into the “darkness” of my mind and heart. It would sneak up on me and suck me in. So many times in my life I felt like I was drowning in my sadness and didn’t know how to get out. I was told at a young age that depression and being bi-polar ran in my family so I always had a name for what I was dealing with. I always had the ability to discuss it with my Mother which, looking back now, I think was a huge saving grace I had to fighting this disease of the brain.

You never know who is hurting, just because you have a smile on your face and are "functioning" doesn't mean you aren't suffering greatly inside. Depression can be in a 12 year old girl or a 60 year old man. You never know what is truly going on with someone. So be kind to those you meet, go out of your way to help a neighbor, give a compliment to a stranger on the street, make eye contact and smile. It only takes a small act of kindness to change a persons day. If I hadn't been given so much love and support in my life and felt safe to discuss my depression who knows where I would be today. And if you are struggling with depression know that you aren't alone. There are people that care. 

Click here for the National Suicide prevention lifeline.  

It's not about perfection....

One of the hardest parts about being a Mother is not comparing yourself to other Mother's. It's near impossible, we are all guilty of it at one time or another. I do it all the freaking time and I NEED to STOP!!! My children are happy and healthy. Every day is not perfect in my house by any means. My floors get dirty. I have piles of laundry that never seem to end. I find food in random places. There are toys spread across my house; little trails of where my children have been...I get frustrated at myself on a regular basis for not being able to "keep up" with everything that I have to do. Lately, I have been thinking to myself where did I get this idea that everything needs to be in order and perfect? Who am I trying to impress?

I have no idea. Everyone, myself...

I think it's social medias fault because you have "insight" into other peoples lives in a way we never did before. For instance; I'll see a picture of a friend and her house is clean and you think, damn I'm failing. I'll see a picture of a Mother all dressed up with lipstick on taking her kids to the park or the store as I'm drinking my third cup of tea in the same leggings I've had on for two days and I can't even remember the last time I brushed or washed my hair (for days it's been in a messy bun that now looks like a nest). I read these blog posts about how blessed these women feel being at home and their snuggled up next to a fire with their children while they play the banjo and paint and I look over and  here's my kid in time out for the 5th time in the past hour for smacking his brother in the face or screaming at me, and I think where did I go wrong? Then I realize...I haven't. This is a glimpse into these peoples lives it is not the whole picture. If you are a Mother and you say your kid never yells or you never get upset with them you are full of it!! Yes, raising children is one of the most rewarding and magical experiences you can have for sure. You love your children more than you can even explain; it's beyond love. But they can also drive you nuts. You can lose yourself in trying to manage it all. The house, the husband (partner), the job or lack there of, the dishes, laundry, grocery shopping, butt wiping, the screaming, crying, diaper changing, nursing, the napping or lack there of, the constant battle to get ready for bed, sweeping the floor for the 3rd time that day because you don't have a dog that eats all the food off the floor that your child throws. It's exhausting trying to keep up with it all.

I had a panic attack a few weeks ago because I was running myself so thin making sure everything was being taken care of. No more. The house can be messy if that means I have some time to relax and actually enjoy my children. Lochlan is going to be four soon. Lenix is going to be one in less than a month and then they'll be 7 and 10 and not want to snuggle with me as much. I need to enjoy this time with them being children without being frustrated that my house is a mess or I didn't have time to look picture perfect that day.

I, actually, am an amazing Mother. I am. I cook for my children every day, I make sure they drink enough water, I give them hugs, I tell them I love them, I take them to the park when I can, I read to them everyday, I keep them ALIVE!

I am enough.

You are enough too. STOP feeling less than. If you love your kids and let them know you love them and are doing the best you can then you are doing great!!

Investing in Me

Being a Mother is a beyond a full-time job. We are "on-call" 24/7. There are days I don't sit down all day long and there are nights I sleep in 45 minute intervals. I don't think most Dad's really understand how much a Mother does. Even when I'm sitting I'm making breast milk which is using up energy. Most days I have to remind myself to eat and drink enough water and I'm lucky if I can have a moment of peace in the bathroom by myself.

With all that being said I LOVE being a Mom. I really do. It is so hard but nothing compares to the feeling of being able to help nurture and grow your child. When people come up to me and tell me my son Lochlan is so polite because he says "excuse me" I know it's because I raised him to be that way. When people tell me how happy my son Lenix is, I know it's because I give him all of his needs and love him immensely so he has no reason to be a fussy baby. I dedicate everything to my children but I'm starting to realize that it can't be that way everyday. I still need to invest time in myself. I still need to nourish my own needs and desires.

Being a stay-at-home Mom is incredible and I am so lucky and blessed to be able to do it and I take it very seriously but I have to learn to set time aside for myself. I discovered how important this was a few weeks ago when I had a very serious panic attack. I really thought I was having a heart attack and was seconds from going to the hospital. I couldn't breathe, my face and limbs all went numb. I was scared. What was even scarier was that I was home alone with the kids and had no car. I locked us in a room and called my mother-in-law who is a nurse and told her I thought I was having a heart attack. She immediately said, "I think you're having a panic attack. Go to a quiet place and breathe into a bag." Luckily, a friend of mine had just left so I was able to call her and she came back to my house within 15 minutes and my Mother-in-law and Father-in-law showed up within the hour. It took me several hours to calm down and a few days to feel "normal" again. I realized in those moments as I was breathing into a brown bag that I needed to take some time for myself. I try to control and take care of everything all the time. I have to have the house clean, dishes done, laundry done, food made, kids dressed; I worry about my parents, my siblings, my friends; I have to take care of David and all of his needs. I take care of everyone else but me. I am good about eating right but I don't exercise other than some daily stretching and walking to the park, I don't write in my journal anymore. I haven't written on this blog in a very long time. I haven't painted since before I was pregnant with Lenix. It's honestly been years since I have invested in ME.

I decided to make a promise to myself, a commitment to give myself 30 minutes a day for
ME. Whether it means to write, read, paint, walk, exercise, meditate, cook....whatever I WANT to do I do it and I choose to not feel guilty that I'm not accomplishing my daily Mommy/housewife tasks.

Honestly, it's been hard to even give myself 30 minutes. It doesn't seem like much but before I realize it the day is almost over and I've been taking care of everything and everyone else. I am trying to be more mindful though of how I go through out my day and not allow myself to become so stressed out by all the little things that need to get done. It's okay if the house is messy and I choose to lay down and snuggle my children. It's okay if I paint while my son watches a movie and the baby is asleep. It's actually fun to exercise around my son because he always laughs and says, "What are you doing?" and then more often than not he will try it too. It's okay that I can't fix or even always help my friends and family.

I'm not perfect and that's okay.

Quinoa Lettuce Wraps

I posted a picture of this on Instagram the other day and had several people ask me for the recipe so here it is....

Quinoa Lettuce Wraps


1/2 C Quinoa
1 Tbl. Olive Oil
1 C Black Beans
1 C Garbanzo Beans 
1/2 Large Red Bell Pepper - chopped
1/2 Med. Yellow Onion - diced
1/2 C sunflower seeds
1 Avocado - chopped
1 bunch of Cilantro - chopped
1-2 Tbl. Mexican Seasoning 
1 Tbl. water
Salsa (optional)
Sour Cream (optional)
1 Package Butter Head Lettuce

1. Cook Quinoa according to package and set aside

2. Put oil in skillet and set to med-high heat. Add onion and bell pepper and cook until soft (about 5 min.) Add seasoning and water, then toss in garbanzo beans. Cook for additional 3-5 minutes until warm. Turn stove off.

3. In medium size mixing bowl add the cooked quinoa, onion mixture, rinsed black beans, sunflower seeds, and cilantro. Toss until fully mixed together.

4. Pull individual leaves off lettuce and rinse.

5. Serve - fill lettuce wraps to desired amount with quinoa mixture and top with salsa, sour cream, avocado and additional cilantro if desired.


Side Note: I put the leftovers in the fridge and had them the following day as a cold Quinoa salad. It was delicious!!! There are so many variations you can do to this recipe. You could add kidney beans, jalapeno, corn, etc. Have fun with your food. Eat your colors and enjoy!!!

Pregnant and tired

I forgot how tired you get when you are pregnant. I had so many plans this past week for projects I wanted to do around the house; not a single one of them happened. I laid around from one couch to the other. I went from my bed to the floor to the kitchen table to eat and then back to the couch. Sometimes it can be really hard for me to listen to my body and just relax and not worry about the dishes in the sink or the laundry piling up. I have to remind myself that although I am simply lying on my butt my body is busy growing a child and that is an extremely important job to take seriously. I am so blessed that I am able to be home. I do not think I would make it through a day of work. I barely make it to Lochlan’s naptime before passing out.

This is good parenting right here

 I love my two-hour nap in the middle of the day. It is what I look forward to most right now. Luckily for Lochlan there have been a few moments where I had the energy to take him to the library or the park and yesterday we actually went to the pool, which he really enjoyed. Poor kid every morning he comes in my room and says, “Get up Mommy!!” Luckily for me, he loves to color, read books and play with his toys. He is pretty good at entertaining himself, which is such a blessing right now

My symptoms as of now are extreme fatigue and nausea. I have not actually thrown up yet which is a blessing. When I was pregnant with Lochlan I puked every single day the entire 9/10 months I was pregnant. (They say you’re pregnant for 9 months but usually it is more like 10). I feel like being more relaxed this time around has helped my stomach settle. I don’t have the anxiety about what’s to come with this pregnancy. I also have stayed on top of eating small meals and snacking through out the day. Not overeating or waiting to long to eat can mean the difference between keeping down your food or not, at least for me. 

I have become very sensitive to smells. I can’t even be around eggs and I smell maple syrup randomly through out the day. Almost every morning I have woken up and had a whole-wheat waffle with vegan butter and a little jam with a banana and a large glass of water to take my prenatal with. I don’t particularly like eating the same thing for breakfast every day but right now it is enough to feel satiated but not to full and it keeps my stomach calm so I’ll take it. I know soon enough I’ll be able to eat a wider variety for breakfast. Every other meal I am fine. I can usually eat whatever sounds good to me. I have been doing a lot of vegetable sandwiches, hard cheese and crackers, Thai food is my best friend right now, oh and lots of sautéed Kale. I LOVE kale.

This is how I like to eat it; it’s very simple but delicious. 

Heat olive oil in skillet – mine is cast iron. Then I take two huge handfuls and place them in the skillet. I toss the kale around until it is coated with olive oil. I let sit for about a minute. Then, I pour about one to two tablespoons of water over the kale and cover with a lid. I let that steam for maybe 5 minutes, stirring once. I will take the lid off and decide if I want it softer or not but usually I like it a little al dente. Then I take it out of the skillet put a little sea salt on it and top with pumpkin seeds and eat. It’s so yummy, healthy and easy to do.

What’s one of your go to snacks when pregnant? 

Baby on Board

I found out I was pregnant the other day!!! About 7 weeks ago David and I decided we were going to actively try to conceive a child. I went through one cycle and now I am pregnant. So as most women in my family I am definitely as fertile as I thought I was. 

I feel very blessed that I have been able to do natural family planning and have a child when I want and not have to use birth control. So far, I haven’t had any severe pregnancy symptoms other than fatigue and frequent potty breaks.  I’ve already started needed to pee constantly so I’m slightly scared for what’s to come in the coming months when my uterus just keeps getting bigger and the baby pushes down on my bladder more and more. I’m pretty sure I’m just going to have to put a catheter in and I’m not even 8 weeks pregnant.

Lochlan is so cute already about the baby. He already likes to say Hi and give my belly kisses. He also likes to say that he has a baby in his belly, which I find adorable.

We are extremely excited to have another child. However, I really am trying to enjoy and take in the next nine months with Lochlan and appreciate the last little bit of time we have together with him just being our only son. David and I have gotten really nostalgic about Lochlan being our first-born. We feel so blessed to have such a wonderful, smart, caring, and creative child as our first. He definitely raised the bar for all of our children to come; I’m sure he will be a great brother.

I had my last day of work this past Friday, which was already planned before I found out I was pregnant. It kind of was perfect timing for all of this to happen. I’m lucky that I get to come home and take care of my family.

I am planning on posting my symptoms, thoughts, feelings, research and my meals. So hopefully all my family, friends and those of you I don’t know can find some joy, inspiration or information from my experience.

When I found out I was pregnant with Lochlan I had so much fear and anticipation around that pregnancy and birth because I did not know what to expect. I am definitely more relaxed this pregnancy and feel better prepared for all of what is to come. But even though I’ve been pregnant before and gave birth this is still a new experience and a different baby. I feel like I need to reread everything and educate myself again to ensure that I am doing everything as I’m supposed to.

I am also working on letting go of my fear of the possibility of having another breech baby and the pain of that labor. I am so blessed that I was able to deliver my son at home and have a natural birth and that everything came out right. But, it was definitely painful and my body remembers it so I’m going to do a lot of meditation, relaxation and visualization on having a head down and a calm, peaceful birth; definitely nothing as exciting as the last one was.

I am looking forward to sharing my experience. Here’s to the next nine to ten months of pregnant bliss!!

Life your life

Live your life to the fullest - I know everyone has heard this expression a lot but seriously you just never know what can happen. Say I love you to those you care about and don't let negativity infect your life. It's not worth it. Respect that no one is perfect and enjoy the mishaps along the way. We get so caught up in all the drama and what we don't have that we truly miss out and waste so much energy and time. In honor of my dear friend who has passed so unexpectedly I am going to enjoy all the moments and not worry about the next; plan for the future but not get bogged down with the details, and enjoy and cherish my family and friends.

A Mother, a friend, a wife has passed

My dear friend Michelle Platt-Brown passed away yesterday. She was a devoted Mother to 5 beautiful children, a loving wife to Danny Brown and a Las Vegas native. She passed away with no notice. Her husband had gone to bed and woke up around 4am to find her on the floor unresponsive. After trying to revive her himself he rushed her to the hospital where they confirmed she had passed. Danny now has 5 small children to take care of (ages 10-1). He is going to need lots of support and love from the community. I have set up a PayPal account to accept donations to give to him and his family in this time of need. Anything that you can provide will be appreciate. As of right now we are unsure of the reasons behind her passing. All we know is she was taken to soon. My heart goes out to her family and especially all those babies that now have to grow up without the love of their Mother. Thank you to all everyone that has offered to support money, time, food, prayers and more. I am so thankful that we have such a strong community of women that will group together and help each other out. It is truly amazing and special. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I know Michelle will have more peace knowing her children will be taken care of and that the community she grew up in and loved is behind her.

Rest in Peace my dear friend

We will watch over your family; I know you would have done the same for me.

I have a link to the PayPal account on the right corner of the main page for donations.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to All!!!!

Happy Mother's day to all the Mother's in the world. I am so thankful to be a Mom and to be a part of this incredible "club."

Here are some quotes about Mothers; enjoy and may you truly have a blessed day!!!


A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.  ~Washington Irving


A mother is someone who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take - Unknown


When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice once for herself and once for her child.- Sophia Loren Women and Beauty


I shall never forget my mother, for it was she who planted and nurtured the first seeds of good within me. She opened my heart to the lasting impressions of nature; she awakened my understanding and extended my horizon and her percepts exerted an everlasting influence upon the course of my life.-Immanuel Kant


There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child - and an instinct to make any child who needs her love, her own.  ~Robert Brault


No language can express the power, and beauty, and heroism, and majesty of a mother's love.  It shrinks not where man cowers, and grows stronger where man faints, and over wastes of worldly fortunes sends the radiance of its quenchless fidelity like a star.  ~Edwin Hubbell Chapin

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.  ~Tenneva Jordan


One good mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters.  ~George Herbert


The phrase "working mother" is redundant.  ~Jane Sellman


The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men - from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes


Who fed me from her gentle breast
And hushed me in her arms to rest,
And on my cheek sweet kisses prest?
My Mother.
~Anne Taylor


The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.  ~Rajneesh

In response...

“Every path to success has been littered with doubt, fear, and uncertainty, as well as persistence, calculated risks and repeated action. The difference between someone who fails and someone who succeeds is the courage to act...”

One of the greatest aspects of social media is being able to connect with other people and share your personal stories/experiences and allow others see to see a side of life that they may or may not have experienced or dealt with and may or may not agree with.

I am okay with the fact that others are not agreeing with the choices that I made during my birth. Where would we be in this world if people always agreed with one another and no one was willing to stand away from the "mainstream" and trust in something else.

I am not here to say that my choices in my birth are the only way to go or even the best way to go, or to cast judgment on those that choose different paths than I would. I simply wanted to share my birth story.

  

In regards to my birth; I believe in trusting ones body and trusting ones instincts. I trust in my beliefs; like many of us do in all sorts of ways. I chose to trust in myself and in my midwives ability to assist me in bringing my son into this world. I chose to accept the consequences for MY actions whether they be good or bad. I do not feel that that was a narcissistic act or even a selfish one for me to make. I feel it was a mindful decision for son and myself because I know that in that moment every ounce in my being was telling me to leave the hospital and I did.  I am NOT saying that that is what all women should do; it is what I chose to do.

My hope in sharing my experience is that all women will learn to trust themselves and do what they feel is best for their bodies and their unborn child, whether that is having a homebirth, delivering vaginally in a hospital, or having a caesarean. I hope that women can take a stand for what they feel to be their best option not because someone told them is was the right thing to do but because they made an educated and thoughtful decision and chose to trust in what they feel to be right and true.

Bad things happen to everyone. Yes, my son could have died but I, too, could have died in the hospital. No one knows what would have happened if I had stayed. The point is that I made a choice for myself and my family, and I believe it was the right choice. I chose not to fear the “what if’s” and am thankful that I did. You all have the right to feel otherwise and I accept your feelings. I appreciate all the thoughts whether they are for me or against me. I am not trying to advocate that all women deliver breech babies at home. I am advocating that women educate themselves on their options in birth and choose according to what they feel most comfortable and confidant in.

For the love of our planet

Earth Hour is tonight, Saturday, March 31st from 8:30pm-9:30pm; it doesn't matter what time zone you are in. This is not an event that is supposed to cure global warming or fix the energy crisis. The sole purpose of this is to "inspire all of us to make positive environmental changes in our lives." Please take part in this if you can; it is a lot of fun to turn the lights out, even for an hour and sit, read, or even play a board game in candlelight. I love being part of an event that I know people from all over the world (130 countries) are collectively experiencing and participating in. One of the greatest gifts social media has given us is the ability to connect the human race and come together to think, discuss and solve the problems that we all are facing within our world.

Family Vacation

My family and I will be on vacation in Florida and Georgia for the next two weeks. My honey and I will be celebrating our five year anniversary along with Lochlan's second birthday. I can't believe my baby is already two. Crazy that almost two years ago I was in labor and about to experience the greatest joy and love on earth. I truly feel blessed.

I will not be posting while we are away, unless something HAS to be said. See you in a few weeks!!

Cesarean Rates

This website has collected data from all 50 states on their hospitals cesarean rates to birth ratio. It's hard to ignore this epidemic when the facts are staring you in the face. Not every cesarean is medically necessary. It's time for women to take birth back into their own hands and stop trusting that Doctor's have our best interest at heart.

Check this link out for Nevada's cesarean rates. It is quite upsetting.

“There is power that comes to women when they give birth. They don’t ask for it, it simply invades them. Accumulates like clouds on the horizon and passes through, carrying the child with it.”

~ Sheryl Feldman

Weaning Day 6 and 7

During the days Lochlan has been on and off. He has moments of being very upset, throwing himself on the floor, hitting the air, stomping his feet; all things he did not do as much prior to the weaning process. When he's like this I acknowledge his feelings of frustration and ride it out. I go about my business and let him work through it. If he needs me I will come but I don't try to make him stop crying. I tell him if he wants to be upset, he can be upset, he is allowed to have feelings.

Day 6 night was awesome. He woke up three times. The first time he put himself back to sleep without me even going in the room!! Victory! Then the next two times I went into his room after he cried for 15 minutes and was in there for under 20 before he fell asleep again on his own without nursing. This is incredible. I really did not think we would be at this point so soon considering how often he nursed throughout the day and nights prior to the weaning process.

My Mother told me that often times when there are behavioral changes right before it subsides completely there sometimes may be a last minute retreat to the "old ways." Sure enough last night, day 7, he latched himself onto me. Literally.

He fell asleep in the car heading home from a family gathering. When we arrived at the house he woke up and I brought him into his room, changed his diaper, wiped his hands and face and put him into pajamas. He nursed for about 30 minutes and fell asleep at the breast. When I went to lay him down in his bed he woke up and started crying. I sat next time him for 10 minutes while he fussed but then fell asleep. At 10:30 he woke up and cried for under five minutes and went back to bed. He did this again around 11:15 then at 12:30 (which I swear he wakes up on the dot every single night) he cried and cried and I could tell he wasn't going to gown down on his own. So I went into his room and he was sitting on the floor. I pick him up, he stops crying; put him back in his bed and waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I sat in their for an hour and a half. He kept getting out of bed and I would have to pick him up to put back into his bed. I noticed that every time he would grab hold of him he would squeeze hold so tight. He wanted to be close. Eventually I needed to go to bed. So, I stood him up and said, "Would you like to sleep in Mommy's room?" "yes" "Okay, you may sleep in there but you will not be getting any leche (which is what I call breastmilk). It is time to sleep, not play. Do you understand?" He says, "Yes" and then jumps onto me and squeezes tight. You could tell he was excited this had become an option. We went into my bed and he layed on me with his face pressed as tight as he could get it to mine. Wrapping himself onto me. He never asked for milk once. But he was needing me to be close. It was nice to REALLY snuggle with him without him needing milk. I fell asleep; he woke up a couple hours later and fussed for a minute but then snuggled back up and went to bed. We woke up around 7; he nursed for maybe 10 minutes and got up. A week ago I would have nursed him maybe 4 times in a night for at least 30 minutes each and then in the morning he would nurse roughly from 5:30-7am. THIS is so much better for us/me at this point. I am glad we still have those three to four times a day we nurse before he goes to sleep; to reconnect and be close, but it is nice to not be a constant milk machine. I feel like I have a part of my body back. For so long it did not belong to me.

We still have time to go with the weaning stage but so far I am so pleased with how calm I have stayed through out this. His crying and anger, has definitely brought me to tears, but I am confidant in why I am doing what I'm doing and it has allowed me to have so much more love and grace in the process.

Being a Mom that had tried to wean before but still slightly on the fence; there is NO WAY you can wean if you are not 100% committed to doing so. It is hard to hear your baby cry and get so upset with you. No Mom wants to see their child struggling but it can be a growing process. It can be a time to truly show your child how much love and compassion you have for them. When they are fighting to stay the same you are showing them change is okay; Mommy is going to be here and hold your hand every step of the way.

Weaning Day 5

Last night was rough. He only woke up twice but each time it took me over two hours to get him to fall asleep. He asked for everything under the moon: a diaper change, a book, a new shirt, food, his shoes, to color, to go bye-bye, his Papa, Daddy, the dog, new pants...he eventually would realize the only option he had was to drink his water, lay down and fall asleep.

My rule for staying in his room is this; I will sit in there and wait for him to go down if he keeps his head on the pillow. He can not be sitting up. I would ask him, "Do you want Mommy to stay in here while you fall asleep." He would say, "Yes." "Okay, then you need to lay your head down and close your eyes." If he would not do that I would get up and leave. Let him cry for about 5 minutes and then start over again.

In the morning he did great. He did not ask for milk at all until it was time to take his nap. I have noticed that he is very excited and willing to let me know when he is tired and ready to go to sleep because that's now the only time he gets milk.

Every day is different but it seems each day is getting  better and less dramatic for him. I am managing his emotions fairly well and I think a big part is because my body is not in constant demand of milk production. It takes a lot of energy to produce enough milk for a toddler. I am proud of myself for sticking with it this time and I am extremely proud of my son for listening. Yes, he is upset and lets me know but overall he gets what is going on. Growing pains...

Blueberry Crumb Muffins

These are so yummy and delicious!!!

Here's how: (I use organic ingredients when possible)

Muffins
1 1/3 C Flour (I use whole wheat)
1/3 C Sugar
1/3 C Brown Sugar
1/2 tsp Salt
2 1/2 tsp Baking Powder
1/3 C Vegetable oil
2 eggs (beaten)
1/2 C Milk
1 1/2 C Blueberries (fresh or frozen)

Topping
1/3 C Flour
1/4 C Oats
1/4 C Butter (softened)
1 tsp Cinnamon
1/3 C Brown Sugar

Mix: flour, sugars, salt and baking powder in medium size bowl
Stir in: oil, eggs and milk
Fold in: blueberries

Mix the topping in separate bowl with hand till it is a crumb type texture. 

Preheat over to 375

You can either insert baking cups in muffin pan or use grease. Fill individual cups till they are almost full; then put the crumb mixture on top.

Cook 20-30 minutes.
Let cool 5 minutes and enjoy!!!

Weaning Day 4

So last night went okay. The first time he woke up it took him about an hour to fall asleep on his own without nursing. He did have some water though. He woke up again at 3:30 and I tried to get him to sleep on his own but after 45 minutes I was over it so I nursed him down. At 6am he woke up and I brought him into our room where he nursed and slept until 9am. We woke up and ate breakfast. He asked for milk once and I told him not until nap time. He did not ask again and was completely content. We went to the park and played which made him a happy boy. When we came home around 1pm I nursed him down for his nap. He slept for two hours and when he woke up he had some milk. He was content to play and eat food until bed time. We nursed for 30 minutes and then I put him in his bed; it took another 30 for him to fall asleep.

Today went a lot better than I thought it was going to. I thought he would be even more mad today since the process is continuing and it wasn't a one-time-deal. But, he was great. I am super happy with how it's going already.

So far my tricks have been: distracting him with toys I have put away, lots of time outside, offering water any time he asks for milk and simply saying "not now."

When he cries and gets upset I tell him that I'm sorry I can't give him what he wants and it's okay if he is upset about it. We hug if he lets me.

I hope tonight goes well. Night time is the hardest for me because I don't want to sit in his room for hours while he cries but I refuse to leave him in there alone. This is a hard enough transition as it is. One step at a time.