“Every path to success has been littered with doubt, fear, and uncertainty, as well as persistence, calculated risks and repeated action. The difference between someone who fails and someone who succeeds is the courage to act...”
One of the greatest aspects of social media is being able to connect with other people and share your personal stories/experiences and allow others see to see a side of life that they may or may not have experienced or dealt with and may or may not agree with.
I am okay with the fact that others are not agreeing with the choices that I made during my birth. Where would we be in this world if people always agreed with one another and no one was willing to stand away from the "mainstream" and trust in something else.
I am not here to say that my choices in my birth are the only way to go or even the best way to go, or to cast judgment on those that choose different paths than I would. I simply wanted to share my birth story.
In regards to my birth; I believe in trusting ones body and trusting ones instincts. I trust in my beliefs; like many of us do in all sorts of ways. I chose to trust in myself and in my midwives ability to assist me in bringing my son into this world. I chose to accept the consequences for MY actions whether they be good or bad. I do not feel that that was a narcissistic act or even a selfish one for me to make. I feel it was a mindful decision for son and myself because I know that in that moment every ounce in my being was telling me to leave the hospital and I did. I am NOT saying that that is what all women should do; it is what I chose to do.
My hope in sharing my experience is that all women will learn to trust themselves and do what they feel is best for their bodies and their unborn child, whether that is having a homebirth, delivering vaginally in a hospital, or having a caesarean. I hope that women can take a stand for what they feel to be their best option not because someone told them is was the right thing to do but because they made an educated and thoughtful decision and chose to trust in what they feel to be right and true.
Bad things happen to everyone. Yes, my son could have died but I, too, could have died in the hospital. No one knows what would have happened if I had stayed. The point is that I made a choice for myself and my family, and I believe it was the right choice. I chose not to fear the “what if’s” and am thankful that I did. You all have the right to feel otherwise and I accept your feelings. I appreciate all the thoughts whether they are for me or against me. I am not trying to advocate that all women deliver breech babies at home. I am advocating that women educate themselves on their options in birth and choose according to what they feel most comfortable and confidant in.
After reading your story, I am nothing but thankful that I made a different choice than you did and had a CS when faced with my footling breech baby. Yes, I was taking on a slightly higher risk of complications for myself, in order to ensure that my daughter not have to go through what your son did. And my daughter was born perfect, pink, crying, full of tone and fully breathing on her own. She nursed like a champ soon after and I was up on my feet walking less than 24 hours later. But you are right. You had every right to make the choice that you made, even though your son had to suffer greatly from that choice. I would have cut off both of my hands in order to ensure that my daughter did not endure what your son did. How long was his head entrapped and his cord prolasped and he was without oxygen? 3 minutes, 4, 5 mintues? Imagine holding his head under water now for that same period of time. This is why I believe your birth story is one of caution, rather a story to be emulated.
ReplyDeleteVery well said. Being a good mother is all about making decisions which will benefit your children more than you. This is absolutely a story of cautions and it is sad it came down to "birth rights". Congratulations on your birth. And Janelle, I hope if you are ever faced with this kind of decision again, you will choose differently.
DeleteI agree with Anon 2:06. Being a mother is about sucking it up and doing what's best for your baby. And no one has ever shown that a vaginal breech (most especially not a vaginal FOOTLING breech) birth is better for baby.
Delete"I am advocating that women educate themselves on their options in birth and choose according to what they feel most comfortable and confidant in."
ReplyDeleteAlthough I am one of those that felt very confused as to why so many felt so positively about this birth story (I personally felt very sad for the baby and just shocked) I have to say I 100% agree with the statement you made above. I recently made the choice to have my baby at the hospital when I had planned a homebirth and I was very thankful that everyone was very supportive of me, and I will be advocating for me and baby the whole time and doing everything all natural. I hope to be able to encourage all women to do the same. It's sad to me how many woman really have no clue about the pros and cons because they just don't educate themselves.
Janelle,
ReplyDeleteAfter almost two years of being quiet about it, you have moved and inspired me to write out my own controversial breech birth story and share it as well. Thank you for trusting yourself so strongly and making such strong decisions. If your son has anything to be lucky for, I think it would be for having such an amazing mother. If the choices you continue to make in your own and your son's lives lean heavily on self-trust and LOVE, as they did in this story, it is my personal belief that you will be imparting one of greatest gifts you could ever give to your son: the ability to do the same thing. And that is the kind of stuff that makes this world a better place.
If you and any others would like to read my birth story, you are welcome to do so at www.BreechBirthStory.blogspot.com
Thank you, Janelle!
Thank you for sharing your birth story, I found it empowering and inspiring. I think your an amazing mother and woman for believing in yourself and your body and listening to your instincts. A big and beautiful welcome to the world to your son.
ReplyDelete"I, too, could have died in the hospital."
ReplyDeleteThe risk of maternal death is astronomically less than the risk of neonatal death in footling breech vaginally delivery. That's like saying "Of course there's a risk of death riding my bike on a 4 lane highway, but I could die riding my bike in my driveway too." You have absolutely no concept of the vastly different degree of risk involved.
Another thought - are you currently pregnant, or perpetually pregnant? Because if you're not currently pregnant, it's rather telling psychologically that your profile picture continues to be a heavily pregnant woman. Permanently identifying only with the fact that you can produce children. Given the 7 billion people on the planet, it's not that impression or individualistic.
I believe that it is your SON'S birth not YOUR birth, I am happy that your son made it, I do hope for any future children you have, you consider that it is their birth and that they deserve to have the best chance to enter this world in a safe and healthy manner. The first day of our lives is the one where we face the most risk and it is only fair that as mother's we do the most that we can to minimise the risk. We don't always get what we want, its a part if life and to risk your child's life because you couldn't have what you wanted? Because you think you know better? because you have a feeling everything is going to be ok? because you hold an ideology rather then observing fact and reality? I hope for the rest of your sons life that you do the best to minimise risks he faces because you sure didn't do that on the most dangerous day of his life, his first
ReplyDelete