During the days Lochlan has been on and off. He has moments of being very upset, throwing himself on the floor, hitting the air, stomping his feet; all things he did not do as much prior to the weaning process. When he's like this I acknowledge his feelings of frustration and ride it out. I go about my business and let him work through it. If he needs me I will come but I don't try to make him stop crying. I tell him if he wants to be upset, he can be upset, he is allowed to have feelings.
Day 6 night was awesome. He woke up three times. The first time he put himself back to sleep without me even going in the room!! Victory! Then the next two times I went into his room after he cried for 15 minutes and was in there for under 20 before he fell asleep again on his own without nursing. This is incredible. I really did not think we would be at this point so soon considering how often he nursed throughout the day and nights prior to the weaning process.
My Mother told me that often times when there are behavioral changes right before it subsides completely there sometimes may be a last minute retreat to the "old ways." Sure enough last night, day 7, he latched himself onto me. Literally.
He fell asleep in the car heading home from a family gathering. When we arrived at the house he woke up and I brought him into his room, changed his diaper, wiped his hands and face and put him into pajamas. He nursed for about 30 minutes and fell asleep at the breast. When I went to lay him down in his bed he woke up and started crying. I sat next time him for 10 minutes while he fussed but then fell asleep. At 10:30 he woke up and cried for under five minutes and went back to bed. He did this again around 11:15 then at 12:30 (which I swear he wakes up on the dot every single night) he cried and cried and I could tell he wasn't going to gown down on his own. So I went into his room and he was sitting on the floor. I pick him up, he stops crying; put him back in his bed and waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I sat in their for an hour and a half. He kept getting out of bed and I would have to pick him up to put back into his bed. I noticed that every time he would grab hold of him he would squeeze hold so tight. He wanted to be close. Eventually I needed to go to bed. So, I stood him up and said, "Would you like to sleep in Mommy's room?" "yes" "Okay, you may sleep in there but you will not be getting any leche (which is what I call breastmilk). It is time to sleep, not play. Do you understand?" He says, "Yes" and then jumps onto me and squeezes tight. You could tell he was excited this had become an option. We went into my bed and he layed on me with his face pressed as tight as he could get it to mine. Wrapping himself onto me. He never asked for milk once. But he was needing me to be close. It was nice to REALLY snuggle with him without him needing milk. I fell asleep; he woke up a couple hours later and fussed for a minute but then snuggled back up and went to bed. We woke up around 7; he nursed for maybe 10 minutes and got up. A week ago I would have nursed him maybe 4 times in a night for at least 30 minutes each and then in the morning he would nurse roughly from 5:30-7am. THIS is so much better for us/me at this point. I am glad we still have those three to four times a day we nurse before he goes to sleep; to reconnect and be close, but it is nice to not be a constant milk machine. I feel like I have a part of my body back. For so long it did not belong to me.
We still have time to go with the weaning stage but so far I am so pleased with how calm I have stayed through out this. His crying and anger, has definitely brought me to tears, but I am confidant in why I am doing what I'm doing and it has allowed me to have so much more love and grace in the process.
Being a Mom that had tried to wean before but still slightly on the fence; there is NO WAY you can wean if you are not 100% committed to doing so. It is hard to hear your baby cry and get so upset with you. No Mom wants to see their child struggling but it can be a growing process. It can be a time to truly show your child how much love and compassion you have for them. When they are fighting to stay the same you are showing them change is okay; Mommy is going to be here and hold your hand every step of the way.
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